There is a common phrase used in the coaching world, and if you don’t understand the principle behind it, you’ll never experience significant growth or change in your life.

The phrase is simple, but packs a punch. It goes like this:

“You are either coaching it, or letting it happen.”

To a coach, "You are either coaching it, or letting it happen" is a clear reminder of their total responsibility for everything that occurs under their watch.

If a linebacker consistently takes a false step before breaking on the ball, and the coach sees it but doesn't address it – they're not just failing to correct it, they're actively "coaching" that mistake by allowing it to continue. The same applies when a player consistently shows up two minutes late to meetings, or when effort levels drops in practice. By not addressing these issues, a coach is silently communicating that these standards are acceptable.

This principle is what separates elite coaches from average ones. Elite coaches understand that everything they see is something they're either actively shaping or passively endorsing. There's no middle ground.

Nick Saban was notorious for turning the heat up on his players in the 4th quarter of a runaway game. If he felt like the players weren’t holding the standard, even in the final 60s of a blowout, he was going to let his players know it.

The power of this principle is that it eliminates excuses. A coach can't say "well, I didn't want them to do it that way" if they saw it and didn't address it. Their silence is, in fact, their coaching.

The same goes for you and me.

You are either coaching it or letting it happen" isn't just a coaching phrase – it's a brutal truth about change that most people aren't ready to face. But if you're reading this, you're not like most people. You're someone who's committed to excellence, and this principle will become your foundation for transformation in 2025.

Let's be clear: Every habit, behavior, and outcome in your life right now is something you've either actively shaped or passively accepted. There's no middle ground. When you say you want to change something in 2025, you're really saying you're ready to start coaching yourself toward a new standard.

Think about that habit you want to build, that change you want to make. Maybe it's finally establishing a consistent morning routine, building a stronger body, or being more present with your family. Right now, you're either actively coaching yourself toward these changes, or you're letting your old patterns persist. Your current reality isn't happening to you – it's happening because of what you've chosen to coach or let happen.

This is where most people get uncomfortable because accepting this principle means accepting total responsibility for where you are right now. That extra 20 pounds? You've been coaching that through your daily choices. That project you keep putting off? You've been coaching procrastination. That relationship that's drifting? You've been coaching distance.

But here's where this principle becomes powerful: The moment you truly understand that you're either coaching it or letting it happen, you realize that transformation isn't about motivation or willpower. It's about deciding what you're willing to coach into your life and what you're no longer willing to let happen.

As we enter 2025, the question isn't, "What do you want to change?" It is, "What are you ready to start coaching?"

Let me show you exactly how I'm applying this principle in my own life. There are two areas where I've been "letting it happen" instead of "coaching it": my attention and my mobility.

First, let's talk about attention. For the past 6 months, I've been passively coaching distraction into my life. Whenever I mindlessly pick up my phone or let my thoughts scatter during important moments, I've been reinforcing these patterns. I've essentially been the coach standing on the sideline, watching poor technique and saying nothing.

That changes now.

Starting in 2025, I'm coaching focused attention with two non-negotiable standards:

First, I'm committing to 12 minutes of daily mindfulness practice for the next two months of the year. Why? Because attention is like a muscle – either you're training it to be stronger, or you're letting it atrophy.

I've seen how this practice enhances every area of my life – from the quality of my work to the depth of my relationships. When I'm not consistently training my attention, I'm coaching distraction by default.

After two months, I’ll reassess and determine the next step in the process.

Second, I'm creating a physical barrier between myself and digital distractions. A simple basket in the kitchen will become my phone's new home whenever I'm in the house for more than 5 minutes. This isn't just about reducing screen time – it's about actively coaching presence in my daily life.

Whenever I place my phone in that basket, I'm coaching intentionality. Whenever I reach for it mindlessly and find it's not in my pocket, I reinforce a new standard.

The second area where I need to shift from "letting it happen" to "coaching it" is my mobility. At 44, I feel the effects of passively accepting stiffness into my life. Sure, I address mobility in my warmups, but that's the equivalent of a coach only working on fundamentals during game day. It's not enough.

I'm adding 10 dedicated minutes of mobility work after my morning walk. This isn't just about feeling better – it's about actively coaching longevity and quality of movement into my life. Every day I complete this practice, I'm coaching vitality. Every day I skip it, I'm coaching decline.

Remember: You're either coaching it, or letting it happen. What are you ready to start coaching in your life? If you need help, let me know. I’ve got 3 coaching spots left for the first quarter of the year. Email me at [email protected] and let’s get to work!

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